10 Core Questions of Life

Our personal world view shapes everything in our lives — and in our kids’ lives. Our actions and reactions are determined by what we believe to be the answers to what Pastor Kevin calls the “10 Core Questions of Life.”

Using the Bible as a reference, we can teach our kids God’s answers to these questions. We’ll have to adapt our answers according to their age so their understanding will grow as their minds and bodies do. Eventually, when they’re adults, they’ll have adult-sized answers and be deeply grounded in their faith.

Slow Down to the Speed of Love

We were created to slow down and “walk” in our relationships, and being intentional takes time and focus. This quality time is an investment that will pay off for years to come.

We should slow down enough to emotionally engage our kids on their level and get interested in what’s going on in their lives. Focus on what matters to them: their friends, hobbies, favorite games, etc.

Remember, kids are smart and will know when you’re faking it. If you need to, carve out time in your calendar specifically for the slow, steady “Speed of Love.”

Three Speeds of Life for a Healthy Family

It’s important for us to understand what Pastor Kevin calls the “Speed of Life,” the “Speed of Love,” and the “Speed of Learn.” Depending on what we’re trying to accomplish with our kids at the time, we’ll need to know when to run, when to walk, and when to sit. No family can operate at the same speed all the time.

Love Doesn’t Enable

There are times in life when we come alongside others to help them. We do this in love because we see they are sinking, and we want to help them carry the weight of their struggles.

There are also times in which we are tempted to carry people who are perfectly capable of carrying themselves. A prime example of this can be found in parenting.

Pastor Miles recounts a story of his daughter and her homework. Instead of helping her, he empowered her to help herself.

How Do I Lead My Wife Spiritually and in Prayer?

When we marry, it’s not just two people coming together. It’s two people coming together with God. It’s a relationship of three that takes time to grow and develop.

Keep prayer simple in the beginning. Ask her how you can pray for her day, and then pray together and be specific. When tough times strike, the intensity of your prayers will increase. Lead her well and depend on each other for prayer and accountability.

Get Comfortable Praying with Each Other

Nowhere in “The Lord’s Prayer” are there personal pronouns – there’s no “I,” “me,” or “my.” It’s always “our” Father and “us.” When we come into relationship with God through Jesus, we join a bigger family. And prayer becomes a part of that family, so we pray together to our Father.

Because we share the same Father, we should be comfortable praying together and right in the moment.

Trip & Andrea’s Marriage Restoration Story

On the verge of divorce, Trip & Andrea decided to try out church at 12Stone’s Buford Campus. Once they visited, they knew they never wanted to leave! Their hearts began to change and knew that their marriage is worth saving.

After meeting with a pastor, they joined a ReEngage Marriage group and today have a great restoration story!

This year (2018), a permanent location is being constructed for the Buford Campus. 12Stone is excited as we know this opens up opportunities for more stories of impact and redemption for the Buford community.

Guiding a Family to Solve Conflict

We can resolve conflict in family by following the guidelines God models for us:

  • There is righteousness: Discuss and determine what is right, not who is right.
  • There is unrighteousness: Acknowledge what is wrong.
  • Someone has to repent: Apologize and return to what is righteous.
  • Someone has to forgive: Absorb the loss and restore the relationship.

When we let the peace of God reign, there will still be conflict, but now we have way to solve it.

Create a “Closed For Business” Sign For Your Family

Work is important, but it’s only one of the important things in life. We need to find a way to be “closed for business” for our families.

This means putting limits to work so you can do family and limits to family so you can do work.

Kevin and Marcia navigated this conflict in time between work and family by setting some rules:

  • Quitting: “closed for business” at certain times of the day.
  • Interruptions: no interruptions at work.
  • Phone: no business calls when at home.

These rules help keep both family and work important. When someone is “on”, they’re fully on. When someone is “off”, they’re fully off.

How Families Can Withstand Pressure

Two different families may come from the same mold, but we won’t know the difference between the two until pressure is applied; job, finance, emotional, psychological. Once the pressure comes there is no amount of skill or training that can compensate for being hollow – it all falls apart.

If families are built from the inside out, they can sustain pressure from the outside in.

Don’t Just Care, Connect

God created us to connect in community, and through Christ’s work on the cross, we are one church family united as brothers and sisters with one Heavenly Father.

Practice the values of living in community and serving others. Connect with God and one another – because real heroes restore relationships.

 

You Can’t Be a Hero if You Only Care About Yourself.

Romans 12 teaches us to “be devoted to one another in love and honor one another above ourselves…” because we all make up the body of Christ, and each person is equally important.

Do you serve your church, family, and community – or do you wait to see whether they’re serving you? Resist the urge to compare your contribution against everyone else’s and invest yourself in others.

 

Are You Too Busy to Be Present?

There are times in life in which we can be so busy that we’re around God, but we’re not actually with God. We don’t sense His presence, and we certainly don’t feel His peace. That’s when we know it’s time to change our priorities. We need to create space in our schedules to be present with Him because He is always present with us.

Two Ways We Tend To Get Stuck

When God tells us to build something, we tend to get stuck either from never starting or never finishing.

Never Start: You cannot get comfortable with the gap between what God has let us see, and all that God sees that we don’t. We sit and wait for God to tell us the whole picture. But, that wouldn’t require faith.

Never Finish: Noah could’ve given up on the ark along the way, but a half-built ark wouldn’t have saved his family! Most people have half built arks in their lives. You dreamed and you saw something and you got stuck in the building. Get back on the job site and finish the build!

 

Lead Your Kids

Scripture: Romans 8

The Truth: As a parent, you have the greatest potential to influence your child.

The Dare: We dare you to lead your kids (maximize your potential).

  • Love Unconditionally
  • Engage Fully
  • Affirm Frequently
  • Discipline & Dream

Action:

Dare: (Grow Your Relationship)

  • Pray Daily
  • Meet One-on-One Weekly

Double Dog Dare: (Grow Your Leadership)

Do You Know the Rules About Rules?

Scripture: Exodus 20, Deuteronomy 4

Our Dilemma:

We don’t know how to live in a world with rules; AND we don’t know how to live in a world without rules.

3 Rules about Rules:

  1. Everyone “Believes” in Rules
  2. Rules have to “Match” the Ruler
  3. You don’t “Break” the Rules, they “Break” you!

Question: What rule are you “pretending to break” that is breaking you?

Challenge: Which of the 10 Commandments needs to become your rule?