Solve Calendar

4 things that keep a family together: 

  • Build Solid
  • Build Sacred
  • Solve Calendar
  • Solve Conflict

Solve Calendar: Since Jesus is at the center; new things become sacred (holy set apart). Therefore, we should put the sacred things in our calendar. Otherwise, the ‘busy’ will crowd out the ‘important’.

4 Well Timed Lessons:

  1. Your worldview defines how you view time &use time.
  2. If it’s not in your calendar, it’s not sacred.
  3. Put sacred things in your calendar first.
  4. Create a “closed for business” sign for your family.

Homework:

Plan Together: Nobody can solve every calendar problem all at once. But you can progressively build a solid future for your family by putting the Sacred (big rocks) in first. Sit down together as a couple and practice putting the Sacred (Big Rocks) in your calendar for next month. Then, live it. Along the way, figure out what pebble size commitments need to be planned. Even plan time to relax & recover. And if you have to shift a Sacred Rock, work it out until it’s back in.

Pray Together: “God our Father. Give us wisdom into our calendar to do what we can do. And do for us what we cannot do as you hold us together. In Jesus Name, Amen”.

Gumption is a Sacred Family Value

Gumption is the character to commit and complete. It’s the essence of self-leadership in requiring something of yourself without excuse.

Everything worthwhile is an uphill battle. Luckily, God has given us the necessary gifts, talents, and abilities to win. We only need to exercise gumption to get the better life God has invited us to.

And when we succeed, we celebrate!

Striving to be Authentic

In our families, we’re never going to be perfect, but we can strive to be authentic.

Being authentic means to have consistency between what we say we value and what we practice.

For example, when we say, “God is our sovereign source of life, and the one on whom we depend,” we need to live it. We can do this by finding our significance and security from God and not in others. When we trust others to fill the void, they will eventually fail. We need to look to God and lean on Him for emotional wholeness.

Valuing Family Togetherness

God designed families to stick together.

In marriage, we die to our single life in order to look forward to being together. This means that time together becomes the default, rather than time apart.

When Kevin and Marcia got married, their single lives had to die. They made “together” a sacred value in their family. Every effort has been made to form their family to be together as a default habit.

Build Sacred

4 things that keep a family together: 

  • Build Solid
  • Build Sacred
  • Solve Calendar
  • Solve Conflict

Build Sacred: Since Jesus is at the center; we set our hearts and minds on things above. New things become Sacred (holy set apart). We “die” to old things we once valued and value new things we once dismissed.

What is sacred in your family?

  • Togetherness
  • God First
  • Authenticity
  • Gumption
  • Bless Others

Homework: Define what is sacred in your family (5 to 7 things).

  • Ideas: Use today’s teaching; use the 10 commandments (Exodus 20); or use the “Value Exercise Cards” to start the conversation
  • Note: Perhaps what becomes “sacred” is distinct at different stages of life; dating, married, with young kids, with teenagers; empty nesters.

Keep Battling What Beats You

Humble yourself, get past your pride.

There are places we are vulnerable to peer pressure and signature sins. It’s only when we let God transform those innermost places that we can be defeat what beats us.

A temporary “feel good” fix (like alcoholism, addiction, drugs, pornography, etc…) only starts to make us loathe who we are. Beyond getting over our pride, we have to keep battling what breaks and beats us. This is only done by letting God battle with us.

Get Past Your Pride

Learn to live good in secret.

We need the power of the Holy Spirit down deep in our secret places because The Holy Spirit by the power of Christ will make us good form the bottom up.

When we become good in the secret hidden places, instead of trying to act good on the outside, we become good on the inside at the core, and good blossoms up!

This is how pride is beaten at the innermost core of ourselves.

Drill Down for Good

Discovered: When you chase Feel Good; it progressively destroys good. When you chase do good; it grows feel good!

The Challenge: Drill Down for Good (Because God’s good goes deeper and lasts longer.)

  • Public
  • Private
  • Secret

The Secret to a Merry Christmas “good life”? (Join Jesus)

  1. Yoke up for His pardon.
  2. Learn to live good in secret

The Importance of Perspective

David knew that before He could really access joy, He had to return to a right view of God and himself.

Discontentment is not an issue of the value of the things in your life, but the perspective you have of your life. If you don’t get “discontent” settled in your soul, you’ll never be content.

The next, and the new, turns into the old and the mundane really fast if the issue is discontentment on the inside.

Thanksgiving renews the perspective of our lives and helps us see blessings again.

The Difference Between Happiness and Joy

We get the feeling of happiness confused as the presence of joy.

The Bible uses the word “joy”, but culture uses happiness. Happiness is emotional and fleeting, while joy is steady and sure.

But, Joy is NOT in the emotions first, it is first in the spirit. Happiness is circumstantial. Joy is in identity. Joy is higher than happiness. It can exist whether you are happy or not.

And when we get the two of these confused, we will find ourselves trying to force the feeling of happiness into the place meant for joy, but happy can not replace joy.

The strength of your walk with God is that you can sustain a life of joy, and it is connected to your ability to be thankful.

Thanksgiving Is the Gatekeeper to Joy

There is something about giving thanks that helps us unlock joy in our lives. Joy cannot be gained by external additions, but happens as an internal transformation. The more we understand discontentment, the more we begin to see the freedom of thanksgiving.

Discontentment leads to joyless (robs joy).

Thanksgiving leads to joy (fuels joy).

 

Discontentment Robs Joy From Our Lives

Discontentment on any level undoes relationships, friendships, careers, marriages, and families.

As we feel joy slip away, we start clamoring through life, frantically searching for the next thing, or some change in relationship or circumstance, that will satisfy this discontentment.

But no amount of MORE (no money, promotion, stuff, change in circumstances), can give breath in life like thanksgiving can.

Growing thankfulness and thanksgiving in your life would be central to a breakthrough in discontentment.

What’s one good way to solve inequality?

From the beginning, God has given us a clear view of equality in the Bible. There is no superior race; we are all one in Jesus Christ.

Revelations 7:9 tells us that, in heaven, people of every race will worship God as one throughout eternity.

While we can’t solve all the world’s problems with inequality, we can each do our part to address it wherever we have influence. Change begins at home. Talk to your kids about equality.

Treat everyone with God-given dignity and respect.

From self-absorbed to self-sacrificing

What does it take to save a galaxy? You might think of mighty heroes with outrageous powers, or genius warriors with superior weapons. But chances are you wouldn’t think about a group of selfish miscreants made up of an orphan, a murderer, a raccoon, and a talking tree. Yet that’s exactly what Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy gives us. A ragtag group filled with flaws responsible for stopping a wickedly powerful enemy.

Now, like every movie in our At the Movies series, Guardians has a message that echoes the Bible. We see in the New Testament another group of ragtag misfits brought together by Jesus. We call them the Disciples, and they were very much like the Guardians. A mix of people from different backgrounds, brought together for a purpose greater than themselves. And like the Guardians, we see the disciples take a very specific journey.

Read more

What Is One Thing You Wish Someone Would Tell You in Your 20’s?

While there are many different areas where good advice is always welcomed, focusing on our decisions and our destiny during our younger years is wise. Good decisions compound over time; they pay off the older we get. Bad decision also compound, but in a negative way.

The choices we make have incredible consequences for the life we ultimately live.

How Do We Pursue a Calling and Marriage Simultaneously?

Before Christians should get married, they should talk all about their respective callings. Our callings are primary before marriage, but once we are married, our marriage becomes primary. If two people with strong callings don’t discuss their callings before getting married, there will be challenges. Figuring out how two callings work together requires compromise, prayer, and a commitment to one another above everything else.

How Can We Distinguish Between Moral Outrage and Authentic Passion?

We have more access to information about what’s going on in the world than any generation ever before. But in our relationship with God, He gives us a heart for certain things. We should have a heart for all of what goes on in the world, but we should only invest in some of what we see and hear. We don’t want to become de-sensitized to what’s going on, but if we find ourselves feeling hollow—if we read tragic stories without much emotion—we need to sit with God and ask for Him to restore our sense of compassion.

Should We Give Beyond Tithing?

Scripture tells us in Ecclesiastes that there is a time and a season for everything. There may be seasons of abundance in our financial journeys when we feel prompted by God to use that abundance as an offering to the church, to individuals, or to organizations. This is honoring to God when done in obedience to him.

There may be times, however, when we are pressed to give and we’re uncertain as to the wisdom of the timing because of our circumstances, or because we don’t know if it was actually the Holy Spirit prompting us or a professional fundraiser guilting us into giving. When uncertain, wisdom would tell us to take into consideration the long-term picture of our financial plan and to make decisions that fit into that plan.

How Should Christians Build Relationships With Non-Believers?

Being in the world, but not of it, does not mean that we as Christ followers should isolate ourselves from people who don’t share our beliefs. Jesus spent an enormous amount of time relating to non-Jews, much to the consternation of the religious leaders of his time.

Engaging with non-believers can give us opportunities to demonstrate with our actions and our lifestyles how following Christ can make a difference in how one does life. This does not mean, however, that we engage in activities that are not Christ-honoring in order to reach out to the lost, rather, we invite them into our world and into our lives and into our church and make them a part of who we are.

The church should be a place of insulation and refuge for the lost, not a place of isolation and refuge from the lost.

Why No Sex Before Marriage?

There are two big relational principles in the Bible that we can bring into dating: one is commitment, and the other is intimacy.

It makes sense that God would reserve the deepest level of intimacy (sex) for the highest level of commitment (marriage). Until marriage, any other commitment can be described as “we’re exclusive, for now.” But as we know, that can change. So when you add the deepest level of intimacy to the mix, it does not line up with the level of commitment you experience, leading to heart break.

Our Decisions Lead to Our Destiny

Our decisions as young adults translate to our long-term destiny. Miles identified five key areas where there are significant impacts: faith, values, relationships, career, and money. As we are growing up, we tend to reflect our parents in these areas. But as young adults, we transition to making our own decisions. How we make these transitions impacts our lives for years to come.

How Do We Teach Our Kids the Proper Perspective of Marriage?

If you have a great marriage, you take care of this. When you build a model of what God values in marriage in an imperfect marriage, your kids will learn how to have one too because kids get their core values out of the environment in which they are raised.

If you’re from a broken family, be intentional about spending time with people who have great marriages. Utilize the community within the church to help expose your kids to couples who have healthy relationships. Point out to your kids what’s healthy, and help them learn from it.

Should We Shield Our Kids From Our World’s Horrors?

As parents, we should have big conversations about big issues with our kids at the appropriate age. PK recommends starting those conversations around middle school if possible.

But when the world creeps in early, it’s important for us to answer our kids’ questions at their age level, without adding in details that would only confuse them. Use the Bible as the foundation for thinking, and teach your kids how to think instead of what to think.

The truth is we can’t shield our kids from the world’s horrors. But we can teach them how to think through those horrors in a godly way.

At What Point Do You Practice Tough Love to Your Kids at Home?

The earlier you win the battle of wills, the clearer it becomes for children that they are meant to be in submission to their parents. For some personalities, this gets easier with age. With others, it can be a constant battle. But remember, parenting wasn’t meant to be easy. Draw strength from the Lord, and focus on the end goal: independent, self-led adults.

How Should We Speak up About When We See Injustice?

First things first, settle your tone. How you speak is just as important as what you say. Never represent Jesus in a hateful, disrespectful tone.

Go to God about what grieves your spirit and allow Him to guide your response. Only after you’ve settled your frustrations in prayer, go make a meaningful difference.

And beware social media! You must go beyond mere words for your life to point others to fresh hope and transformation through Jesus Christ.

How Do We Guard Our Kids But Also Let Them Engage in Culture?

As is true of so many questions centered around how to live in a world moving further away from God, perspective is key. If we see life and the world from God’s perspective and not the “me” perspective, the answer is clear.

Christ admonished us to live in the world, but not to be of the world. It’s impractical – impossible – to live isolated from others (from “the world”). Christ tells us to walk alongside our fellow beings, but to live a life that reflects Him and His teachings, on rooted in the Word. By doing this, we teach our children key, and often difficult, lessons about life. We teach them them to live alongside unbelievers, while living the life of a Believer. This shows others the love of Christ and reveals Him through our own lives.

Meaning Comes From The Truth

When approaching what’s meaningful in life, do you start with “me”or God? Sometimes we decide that we are the judge of meaning instead of God being the judge.

We didn’t design life, so we can’t judge. Since we didn’t design life, we cannot assign meaning to life. That’s up to God.

There are 2 ways to define meaning:

  1. When we start with God (from the outside in), we figure where we come from and why we’re here. All of our puzzling questions are based on the framework God lays out.
  2. When we start with “me” (from the inside out), we think whatever we feel, desire, or judge is real and correct. That leads to thinking God must conform to our conclusions and we decide what’s meaningful.

This is the central conflict in our culture.

Why Should I Live My Life Sacrificially?

Everyone is asking this question whether they know it or not.

When Jesus asks us to live sacrificially, He is asking for obedience. He is asking us to follow him. Can we even get to Heaven without following Jesus?

Sacrifice on Earth isn’t really sacrifice in Heaven. We choose lesser things here so that we can see greater things in Heaven. Following is the richest life we can have with Jesus.