Control Issues

How to Use This Devotional:

  1. There’s one devotional reading per week. We recommend reading it 2-3 times during the week in order to more deeply process and apply the content.
  2. There are five scripture readings per week to accompany the devotional. Choose one per day to read for 5 of the 7 days.
  3. About once a month, there’s a Connect opportunity to meet other women at your campus. You’ll see these at the end of the devotional.
  4. Consider scheduling time once a week to connect with a friend to talk about what you’re learning.

Another difficult element of waiting on God is letting go of control. To truly wait on Him is to lay down our plans and agenda and leave space for God to speak or act. When you’re wired to get things done, slowing down to wait is extremely uncomfortable. It almost feels wrong to not take action. But when you need to hear from God about a next step or you are desperate for breakthrough – you must resist your natural reflex and SLOW DOWN… release your grip. He’s got this. He always has.

What is it that compels you to take the reins and try to force something to happen? This is a good time to search your heart about that. When you slow down, what feelings start to surface? Can you surrender your need for control and exchange it for trusting the God that made you and has held your whole life in the palm of His hand? 1 John 4:4 reminds us that “You belong to God, my dear children. You have already won a victory… because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world.” (NLT) If we believe that is true, we should be able to rest while we wait. Robert Madu said “If you can’t rest from it, then you’re a slave to it.” What a challenging thought!

Holy Spirit, help me to understand why I have these control issues. Teach me to trust you as I wait!

Her Story:  

Hello, my name is Stephanie Kiker, and I’m the Kids Pastor at the Sugarloaf Campus! I am still on the journey of relinquishing control. We are all a work in progress!

I learned at a young age that although I was a daydreamer, nothing I dreamed up would appear out of thin air without effort. And I have never shied away from hard work. This, coupled with the beautiful chaos of growing up in a large family, where everyone was expected to do their part to keep the household running, helped mold me into the woman I am today. Maybe girls don’t necessarily “run the world,” but we sure know how to get stuff done!  I’m proud of the role we play in the Kingdom of God; however, if we’re not careful, it’s easy to shift into an unhealthy mindset that everything we accomplish is by our hand alone and that we’re in control. At least that’s how it was for me.

It was the fall of 2020 and my husband, and I were overcome with joy when we heard the words “it’s a boy!” at an ultrasound appointment. We were asked to wait on the OB-GYN after the ultrasound was complete and were in the middle of calling our family with the exciting news when the OB entered the room with a somber look on her face. We were told that our son’s brain wasn’t developing properly and that my cervix was shortening, putting me at risk for pre-term birth. Thank God, they caught it in time and were able to prevent an extremely early birth, but in the months that followed, we continued to receive concerning news about our son’s development.

Guilt and shame rolled over me. I was used to working hard for good outcomes, so I kept searching for answers about what I could do to turn things around. I was on my knees every day, pleading with God for my son, and praying for a miracle. But each doctor’s appointment was just as dismal as the last. I became increasingly frustrated with my helplessness. My pleading with God had drifted into anger. I was keenly aware that I wasn’t in control at all, and it was infuriating!

I don’t remember the exact moment that God’s love and patience began to melt the walls and soothe my pain. He wasn’t turned off by my raw emotions, that much I knew. He stayed close through it all. Soon I began to wake up in the mornings, eager to wait on my Heavenly Father. My prayers changed from grasping for control to releasing each day into the hands of a powerful King. I realized this wasn’t just my story. My son’s testimony was unfolding, and I nearly missed it because of my need for control!

Our beautiful son is almost three years old now! He is an amazing gift, but we still have our challenges. He has endured major cranial surgery, therapies, evaluations, and the journey is far from over. As a mother of a son with special needs, I am reminded daily of my own needs. I can’t control the future. I never could. But now that has become a comforting thought! Jesus came to carry our burdens.

In John 15:5, Jesus describes the relationship we’ve been invited into. “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” The word ‘remain’ means to continue in the same state ( Sound familiar? We remain in Him – we stay – we wait. And then we bear much fruit! It’s all about being connected to Him – He’s the source. We aren’t built to carry the weight of the world. When we try, we are fooling ourselves, limiting our testimony, and diminishing our reach in the Kingdom of God by thinking we should be in control!


Lord, whatever we face today, we are not facing it alone. Help us to acknowledge that you are in control of every part of our lives, strengthen our faith in you, and reveal the areas in our hearts we try to keep hidden from you. You are powerful and more than able to meet our every need, we lay our burdens at your feet.


Day 1: Write down the areas in your life where you are struggling to relinquish control. Read Philippians 4:6 and say each item on your list out loud in place of the word “anything” from the verse.

Day 2: Read 1 Chronicles 16:11. What action step is talked about in this verse that can help us with control issues?

Day 3: Read Colossians 1:16-17. Spend some time in nature in appreciation and awe of our God the Creator.

Day 4: Read Matthew 11:28-30. What part of Jesus’ character is revealed in this verse? How does that encourage us to stop fighting for control?

Day 5: Read 1 Thessalonians 5:11. Reach out to someone you trust about where you are struggling with control. (You can refer to your list from Day 1 as an option.) Ask them for prayer and then pray over their needs.



We’re excited to announce another opportunity for women to connect at 12Stone this month! You’re invited to join us on Saturday, January 20th for prayer at our Lawrenceville campus. We will gather for our regular Saturday prayer time from 9:00am-10:00am and then will meet in the cafe for 30 minutes to hangout, sip a yummy drink and meet some new friends. The best part, coffee is on us! We can’t wait to spend time in prayer and community with you. See you on the 20th!