Sometimes God calls us to the waiting room to prepare us for something new. That’s exciting – except for the waiting part. You know that feeling… a deep sense that something is going to change. A nudge that the season you’re in is coming to a close. An inkling that the plan may not work out like you thought it would. So now what? How do I live in the space between the nudge and the new?
Anticipation used to be fun when we were kids! Waiting for Christmas morning to open gifts was kind of a beautiful torture back in the day. But as you get older, waiting for God to respond can be difficult… frustrating… sometimes even anxiety-inducing. Be honest with God about what you’re feeling, And until He reveals the next or new, continue to be obedient to the last thing He asked you to do. Remain faithful. He will bring the clarity you need.
Her Story:
It was October of 2020. Our family began the process of moving across the country after prayerfully deciding my husband’s career would be primary, and thus, we were hitting pause on mine. We were in the season of raising small kids, and this decision sounded great initially! It meant more intentional time with kids, a break from work, more time to seek spiritual healing, etc. But I VERY quickly realized (I’m talking weeks, not months) how hard the work of being a full-time wife and mom was going to be.
At the same time, I realized I had started grieving the career I was not going to pursue for the foreseeable future. I didn’t realize what a huge change it was going to be.
Not long after, I heard a sweet, but stern word from God. “Lisa, in this season you will learn how to die to yourself. You can either do it kicking and screaming – like you are – or you can lay down your life. And remember, HOW you do something matters.” Oof.
In that moment, I began the journey of discovering contentment in doing the last thing you know God said. Before this painful, die-to-yourself journey, I naively believed that contentment could be attained with minimal work. HA. But contentment – true contentment – is only found on the other side of dying to desires that serve the self. Some desires are rooted in selfishness; some are placed in us from God Himself.
My desire for my career probably had some selfishness baked in, but it was also something God had called me to, equipped me for and given me passion to do. But even though He had given me a career I loved, He had also asked me to set it aside for a season. Have you ever had to surrender your desire and exchange it for trust in Him?
I love what the Apostle Paul says about contentment. “… for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstance…” The word that sticks out to me here is LEARN. To learn something, at the very least, takes some work. And at most, it invites much repetition and, at times, even failure. Learning contentment takes so much repetition as you surrender your desires of a future so that you can find gratitude in His portion for today. And that kind of surrender must be done daily. Until the path is forged. And then paved. And then becomes oddly familiar, almost comforting, walking down this path of surrender yet again.
Fast forward to April 2023. We had grown our family from 2 to 3 kids and so the past few years had been a little exhausting, isolating, and tiring, but also full of joy, reflection, and growth in my capacity. I was sitting on the couch and journaled a line without much thought: “Father, thank you that I don’t have a job right now so I can enjoy these days.” As soon as I put the period at the end of the sentence the Holy Spirit almost pushed me off the couch to grab my attention. The very thing I was ‘kicking and screaming’ about was now, years later, the thing I was grateful for. Only attained through thousands of moments surrendering to God, asking Him to show me how to not just get through this season, but how to do life well.
Would you believe me if I told you one month later God opened a door for me to start my career again?
Remember this, no matter the season or circumstance: He is Kind. He is Near. And He is always inviting us to more. Find the path and pave it.
