12Stone Families,
Our hearts are breaking for our community in Barrow County and Apalachee High School. We want you to know the we are here with you in this as you and your student processes the pain and grieves over what happened today. We are in this with you as your church family.
I want to encourage you, as a fellow parent, to join me in these conversations with our students no matter how unqualified we feel to have them. When talking to our students about tragedies, it’s tempting to try to find the perfect words to use in situations like these, but none exist. There are no perfect answers to the questions they’ll ask but we invite you to pray and prepare for a few things going into a conversation.
When talking with your student, here are some of the “how’s” that can be helpful.
First: Approach the conversation non-anxiously. Start with your own prayer time before you engage your student. Students will quickly pick up on emotions and will take their cues from adults and family. We can add to fear or provide a place of safety and care.
Second: Be the source of information. Some students will have heard by the time they get home today from school, others will have not. We can give age-appropriate detail, while at the same time not being graphic.
Third: Let your child drive much of the conversation. Your student will most often ask the questions that are on their minds and these will be the questions that they care about. This approach enables them to have their questions answered, while at the same time acting as a guardrail that keeps us from oversharing. Be comfortable with silence!
We do not have the right answers to every question but we can rely on the rescuing hand of Jesus in these uncertain times.
- We know a God that mourns with us. What happened today is heartbreaking, and it breaks God’s heart too. (John 11:35, Matthew 5:4)
- There is a higher Kingdom that brings peace when the world is broken (John 14:27, Philippians 4:6-7)
- We know a God who is bigger than the brokenness of this world. (John 16:33)
- We know a God that will make all things right again through Jesus.
There will be no more sadness, no more sickness, and no more tragedies. Jesus will be king, and everything will be the way things are supposed to be. (Revelation 21:4)
It is also helpful to ask your child clarifying questions. These can uncover the “thing behind the thing” that is bothering him/her even more than the event itself. For instance, is he or she actually worried about something happening to you, the parent? Is s/he wondering what would happen to her/him if something did happen to you? Typically the older the child, the more concerns that they will have. Help address each concern directly. Some may appear unaffected today but carry this news heavily in the weeks to come.
We are praying with you and for you and are comforted by the words of Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5. “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”
Praying with you,
Jason
12Stone Church